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Aug
28
2013

How to Tackle Your Anxious Teen

How to Tackle Your Anxious Teen

Anxiety is a common factor which a number of people experience at different stages in life. Teen anxiety can be stressful and difficult to conquer, if the teenager does not get love and support from his or her parents. Normal teenagers face a lot of fears that remain unresolved and haunt them for years. They begin to get poor grades in school and fail miserably in sports as well as physical activities. This usually happens as a consequence of believing that the problem is permanent. Teenagers usually remain quiet about their anxieties because they feel it is a problem which only they understand. They either share it with their closest friends, or indulge in substance abuse, which makes them forget about the problem, at least temporarily. This is why, as a parent you should know how to identify teen anxiety and eradicate it as soon as possible.

Signs which indicate anxiety in teens

Very often teens feel anxious even in the absence of a possible threat. They remain introvert and aloof in social gatherings. You need to identify these signs and gauge that your child is suffering from anxiety. There also a number of physical signs which are easy to spot. Teen anxiety may be accompanied with your child complaining about stomach ache, headache, or muscular cramps on a regular basis. The anxious teen may sweat or blush when initiated conversation with. These signs are evident because they are socially awkward and easily stand out in a social gathering.

Perpetual anxiety is dangerous. It may lead teenagers to feel rebellious and impulsive. They may indulge in drug abuse or reckless sexual behavior. Girls are often reported to be panicky. They panic about every other thing, as they do not know how to cope with it. A panic attack is a painful experience for a teenager. He or she may feel doomed or in sheer discomfort, as though, there is no way out the situation. It is unhealthy for his or her body, as the nerves are constantly tensed and worked up. As a parent, you need to help your child to solve day-to-day problems with a smile. This will reduce your child’s tension.

Cause of teen anxiety

Teen anxiety stems from constant phobias. Teens experience a stressful situation where they are unable to meet some expectations. These phobias could range from difficult situations such as failing in an examination or not being able to submit an assignment on time. These phobias are consequential to childhood experiences. If, as a child, the teenager was reluctant to go to school because of a strict teacher, it is only normal that now also, as a teenager, the person is afraid of anyone who speaks in a loud voice with him or her.

Some researchers have discovered that anxiety can be inherent too. You could be born with the anxiety gene if either of your parents suffers from it. It is both acquired and inherent. Since children pick up on parents’ attitudes, they can copy a parent’s nervous behavior, assuming it to be normal behavior. So, as a parent, you must take care of how you behave in front of your child.

For help with your teen, visit our website.

Aug
28
2013

Why Do Children Feel Anxious?

Why Do Children Feel Anxious?

Anxiety is a common among people of all age groups. Be it toddlers, children, preteens, teenagers, or adults all tend to get anxious. It is hard to overcome anxiety since it causes a lot of stress. It stems from fear of something. Toddlers fear loud noise. But fear is not always a negative feeling – it makes you cautious and prepares you for the worst situation possible. Children often hide anxiety behind smiles or introvert behavior. This is because they are unable to express their fears and anxieties freely with anyone. As a parent you must keep a check on your child’s mannerisms.

How to identify children with anxiety?

Children with anxiety are often unnoticed because parents do not have the knowledge regarding the same. There are a few symptoms that can be spotted in children, which indicate clear signs of anxiety.

Children often exhibit signs of perpetual pessimism. They think negatively about everything. They predict the worst case scenario for every situation. They become highly critical of themselves and blame themselves for everything that goes wrong in the world. They often show aggression, anger, restlessness, rebellious behavior and throw tantrums. They also tend to cry often, and keep poor health. They face regular stomach ache, headache, as well as sleep disorders. They often face separation anxiety have a poor ability to concentrate. They withdraw from activities and family interactions, and have a low appetite.

How to help your child overcome anxiety?

It is your duty as a parent to teach your child overcome anxiety. Children with anxiety benefit from parents’ love and support. You could initiate this by making a structured routine for him to follow. This helps the child believe in stability in events. He or she feels a sense of control over situations. In addition to that, you must pay heed to a child’s basic needs. Ensure that you allot time for spending some quality time with your child, where your child can feel free with you and express their desires and fears. Physical exercise is also required for a growing child. Not to mention, that it is a great stress buster.

The talking cure

Big issues can be resolved with the help of the talking cure. While spending quality time with your child you must ensure that you enquire about your child’s dreams and ambitions in life. You must motivate your child to pursue things which he or she enjoys doing. If your child shows you a work of art that they created, you must appreciate their efforts. When your child feels that he has your support, he shall feel comfortable and attain a certain emotional security. This emotional security reduces your child’s anxiety and stress levels.

You must give him a chance to express his feelings. The child must find a confidante in you. This lays groundwork for your child’s teenage years to come. It is because once he begins to trust you at a tender age, he will surely confide in you with everything else.

For help with your child’s anxiety or to see a child psychologist specializing in anxiety, visit our website.

Aug
28
2013

Why Do Teenagers Face Relationship Problems?

Why Do Teenagers Face Relationship Problems?

Relationships are not easy to tackle, even for adults. So you cannot expect your teenager child to be successful with his or her relationships at one go. You must let your teen child to relax and accept them with their mistakes. These mistakes are lessons in life. These early experiences are crucial to every teen’s life, as it molds the person they turn out to be. You must be very careful while training your teenager kid, so that the child does not regret any decisions made later on in life. This can be done by maintaining a pleasant environment at home. Children learn fast by observing their parents. So, if you display signs of a happy marriage, your child shall also follow suit. But children may still have issues dealing with relationships.

Teen friendships: Are they complicated?

Teen friendships can be tricky to maintain. These relationships spring up, especially when the teenager becomes detached from his family members. He looks for pleasure elsewhere. This detachment and consequential search for a partner happens, owing to the fact that the child feels that only same age people can understand each other’s psyche. The teen has trouble relating to adults. Teenagers look for friends with whom they can discuss their fears as well as anxieties. These friendships stem out of common interests and loyalty. This sense of loyalty can neither be felt during childhood, nor as an adult.

Teenage relationships and its dynamics

Friendships may turn out to be healthy relationship, which are long lasting, but romantic relationships can be difficult to maintain. This is because teenagers can identify with their best buddies, while they have to put up a show in most cases. They pretend to be someone else, just to please their beloved partner. But for how long can they put up the performance, they are bound to realize that they are doing something unworthy and quit eventually.

It has been observed that teenagers can be positively aggressive if they seek revenge. Teenage girls seek revenge by ill-mouthing their friends or partner, if they have been hurt by the concerned person, in the past. These are like verbal assaults, which are humiliating for the person at the receiving end. On the other hand, teenage boys only withdraw from whoever caused them the hurt and let things remain as they are.

Teenagers bond better with friends of the same sex more often than not. Boys like to open up to boys and girls are more comfortable sharing issues with other girls. There are a few cases, but very rare, where teenagers gel with the opposite sex. This could be attributed to the fact that they are in a self-discovery phase.

As a parent, it is only normal that you worry about the company your teenager is in, but you must trust them and teach them to choose the right path for themselves. They may not always be the best judge, as they are not as experienced in life, like you. Do not expect them to always make the right decision. Let them make their own mistakes and learn about life in its due course. Do not hasten a natural process.

For a teen psychologist ro child psychologist, please visit our website.

Aug
28
2013

Why Do Teens Face Social Skills Issues

Why Do Teens Face Social Skills Issues

Teenagers are often unable to cope with societal pressures, of say academics or social conduct. They become depressed by failing their parents’ expectations on a regular basis. Many normal teens have social issues. However, there are also many autistic teenagers who carry forward the social anxiety of their childhood to their teenage. For them, it is even harder to cope in a society with a certain conduct. There has been ample research regarding various teen social skills issues, but there is no ultimate of full-proof solution for autistic teens to overcome the social anxiety completely. As a parent, you can only try to make them feel comfortable.

How to help your teenager tackle social skills issues

Teenagers usually face teen social skills issues because they are fearful of the fact that they may not be accepted in their peer groups. Usually, children who are loved by their parents will experience certain emotional security by the time they reach teenage. However, those teens who do not receive appreciation or encouragement from their immediate family are unsure of themselves. They feel as though they would fail the expectations of the society, much like they failed their parents’. As a parent, you must help your child by appreciating and acknowledging his or her talents.

Why do teens face anxiety?

There could be several reasons for teen social skills issues. It is mainly due to stress and the fear of failure. They may be going through peer pressure. For example, if your teen is a geek, he or she may not feel comfortable about his or her presence with other so-called “cool” people. They will feel ashamed of their smartness and think that it is of no use, if they cannot socialize with other people.

Teenagers face anxiety also because of the fact that they are unable to cope with their parents’ expectations and feel awkward in social gatherings when they are around their parents. Parents sometimes tend to make their children realize their failure, as they think it shall serve as negative motivation. But parents need to understand that not every child responds to negative motivation in a good way.

Societal pressures

Not just the parents, even others around the teenager can cause social fear in the teen. Almost all adults around the teen try to mold teens in their own way. For example, at times, the child feels annoyed of the fact that every other aunt or uncle is questioning the teen about his or her career plan. They may start avoiding social gatherings to avoid these annoying and dominating relatives. As a parent, you must show your support for the child at all times, regardless of what relatives might think.

For example, do not discourage your teenager from pursuing an unconventional career path, such as of a novelist or a dancer, just because you feel that these professions shall be faced with criticism by the society and your relatives. Ensure that your teenage child is happy at all times.

To get your child the help that they need with a child psychologist, visit our website.

Aug
28
2013

All about Dealing with Aspergers Syndrome

All about Dealing with Asperger’s Syndrome

Asperger’s Syndrome is a mental, developmental disorder. Asperger’s Syndrome usually affects teenagers. Such teens are commonly referred to as “Aspie teens”. This is a mental disorder similar to autism. The most common attribute of Aspie teens is social isolation and eccentric attitude in childhood. They are hesitant to communicate or have a conversation with anyone else. Their speech is also impaired, owing to inflectional abnormalities. Their body language seems clumsy. They usually have a focused area of interest, which does not allow any other normal age interests to get in. These interests could range from French Literature to door knobs!

School life and more for Aspies

Whether you are the parent or the patient, you are bound to face certain challenges if your child is suffering from Asperger’s Syndrome. Asperger’s Syndrome is usually found in teenagers. Such teens are commonly referred to as “Aspie teens”. This is a mental disorder similar to autism. They are often looked upon with ridicule and they are bullied at school. Some cope with it well, by being indifferent to the cruel ways of the world, while some get caught up in the constant peer pressure.

School is beyond education for Aspie teens. It teaches them a lot about how to face the world and how to hold their heads high. In school, they are faced with a number of issues such as the pressure to get into college or get recruited somewhere. They do not cope with issues like financial independence and sexual desires very well.

Social disconnect and lack of communication

Teenage life is a difficult phase in an average person’s life. If someone has bigger issues during this age, it is very difficult for the person to cope with it. Aspies are faced with several social difficulties. They have abnormal mannerisms, which seem odd in society. The mannerisms differ from person to person. Some Aspies may speak loudly, avoid eye contact, violate the private space of others, and channel an ongoing conversation to his or her area of interest. Other Aspies may seem aloof, selfish, willful, and may also remain quiet the whole time. This is owing to the fact that Aspies are unable to share their views and thoughts with other people. They are unable to initiate social contact with anyone.

Being uncomfortable in their skin

Aspies often behave like adults. They are not comfortable acting their age. They want to be disciplined from a very young age. They do not have time for teenage stuff. This could be a doomed trait in a teenage boy or a girl, because fellow teens despise them for acting more mature than their age. They ignore fashion and they can have the same hair cut for years because they are not interested in different hairstyles of teenage life. Aspie boys often forget to shave, while Aspie girls forget to comb their hair.

Aspie teens often tend to remain in their preteen phase of life. They still like reading the same novels and watching the same films. They do not move on with time. Their mind does not grow at a normal pace. Aspie boys have poor hand eye coordination that exempts them from school sports – which is a hotspot to find dates and mingle with girls.

Aug
19
2013

Helping Teenagers Cope with Low Self-Esteem

Helping Teenagers Cope with Low Self-Esteem

It is hard to see your child suffer from low self-esteem. You may often end up blaming yourself for your child’s condition. But you must try to find out why your child is behaving in a certain way. It could be peer pressure, inability to meet with academic expectations, change in body image, or any other reason. Normal teens feel good about themselves. They make friends easily and are very social. They also feel more in control of their lives. This may lead to grave outcomes, such as substance abuse, harming oneself, eating disorders, or untimely aggression and the likes.

Aggressive behavior

Low self-esteem has been researched upon in great detail. Very often it leads to aggressive behavior. Teenagers may even think aggressively, which tends to be more dangerous than showing physical aggression. Teenagers with low self-esteem are at a higher risk of harming themselves, joining gangs, or even committing crime.

Alcohol and drug abuse

Teens with low self-esteem indulge in heavy alcoholism and substance abuse. Especially teenage boys like to have alcohol very often. They also indulge in drug abuse, and are likely to display reckless as well as aggressive behavior, such as having sex without protection, or cutting their arm with a blade.

Unhealthy eating habits

It might be an understatement to refer to eating disorders as “unhealthy habits”. Disorders require medical treatment and are likely to last for long. The reason as to why these disorders exist in the minds of teens with low self-esteem is because they have a low body image of themselves. Obese teenagers feel they are at fault because of being the way they are. They tend to indulge in binging because they get angry at society in general and also at whoever is nagging them to reduce weight, which in most cases are their parents.

Another common disorder found in such teenagers is Anorexia Nervosa. This disorder keeps the teenager away from food at all times. The teenager may feel hungry, but he or she will not be able to retain the consumed food inside for long. He or she shall end up vomiting out all the food. This disorder is painful and difficult to conquer. Sudden weight loss is a symptom of anorexia nervosa. It is certainly the result of an emotional health problem.

School life

School life can be very stressful during teenage. Children are very observant of other “popular” kids. They notice their attire and feel bad about not having the same looks. It is also during teenage life that teens focus a great deal on fashion and celebrity lifestyle. It is when teens fail to follow the trends in fashion that they begin to resent themselves. Once they begin to chide their personality they do not like to go to school anymore, and start getting lower grades. It is like a vicious cycle, which is hard to escape from.

As a parent it is your duty to enhance your child’s self-esteem, by encouraging them to improve their talents and appreciating their efforts.

For parenting consultation or teen psychotherapy, please visit our website.

Aug
19
2013

Healthy Marriages and Children

Healthy Marriages and Children

A happy family has now become a rare phenomenon. Yet, it is not extinct and can be revived, with the help of a few attitude adjustments. Children from such families tend to be happier, normal, and achieve good grades in school. Such children have a higher standard of living and have few attitudinal issues in general. They are also known to be less abused, as compared to children from broken families. However, relationships are complicated everywhere. So it is not very wise to make any generalizations. Even children from happy families have issues of identity crisis. Children from other structures of families may end up having a good career and relationships. Children are very quick to pick up on their parents’ behavior. So, you have to careful about what type of behavior you show them.

Talk to your children about healthy marriages

You may discuss a number of things with your child, from the importance of education and independence to even movies which release every week, but you must also educate your child about the importance of a healthy marriage. Your child may be a good human being, but he must realize the importance of a partner in life. Your child must be willing to step out of his or her comfort zone of individuality. If you start putting this thought into their mind at a young age, they will get molded to the idea faster than if you begin in their teens or when they are of a marriageable age.

By the time your children hit the teens they form a strong sense of self and are cozy in their bubble of independence. Do not hesitate to provide a bit of sex education also as part of your discussion. Boys must know that having sex is huge deal and that they should be ready for the responsibility and consequences. Girl children must be taught the value of a girl attaching dignity to the family.

Lead by inspiration

Children pick on actions faster than verbal lecture. For example, if you want to explain to your child the importance of taking care of or being in charge of someone else, instead of lecturing them about the same, you could get them a pet dog. You should teach them to take care of the dog’s eating schedule, bathing it, taking it out to play, and keeping it happy. This will teach the child about taking care of loved ones, who are dependent on them.

Communication is helpful but not as inspiring as real life action. Be practical in your approach – do not give them false hope about life. Teach them how every day can be a struggle, but they have to be strong individuals and deal with life as it comes. Teach them how to make good decisions, as decisions form their destiny and are important for a healthy marriage. Be an authoritative parent, as opposed to an authoritarian one – every decision you take for your children, you must explain to them the hidden agenda behind it. This helps the child get peace of mind, as opposed to restlessness and rebellious feelings.

PLease visit our website for more information about couple’s counseling or couple’s workshops.

Aug
19
2013

Do You Think You Need Couple’s Counseling?

Do You Think You Need Couple’s Counseling?

Married couples often face adjustment issues. It is only natural to come across issues in an institution like marriage. It is a societal norm, which you are bound to adhere to so as to be accepted, and more importantly, to carry your family name forward. Marriage is a big responsibility for both partners and it is only natural to doubt that most important choice of your life. You may even think of separation, just because you want end your misery for good. This is where couple’s counseling is helpful.

Why should you undergo counselling?

There are many times when you hope that things get better on their own, between you and your partner. But, in some cases, things only get worse owing to compatibility issues or other family problems. When you face the issues mentioned below, then it is time to see a counsellor.

– Inappropriate communication: There are occasions where you speak very rudely to your partner, or vice versa. In either of the situations, the partner at the receiving end is hurt and shattered. He or she cannot think of a single reason as to why you got yourself involved with someone who does not care about your feelings. In such a situation, it is best to see a counsellor, as opposed to putting up with the constant hue and cry at home.

– Extramarital affairs: With growing stress levels and less communication on a daily basis, spouses look for happiness elsewhere. It is ethically immoral and speaks volumes of your character, to be disloyal to your partner. Once you discover that your partner has had an affair, or is having one, it is bound to humiliate you. You may not even want to have a dialogue with your partner. This might be a good time to consult a counsellor and seek advice regarding whether your relationship is worth investing in anymore or not.

– Coexistence: There are certain points in a marriage where, you feel you are at a standstill. You may think of your spouse as a roommate, who is a part of almost everything you do at home. This could be due to lack of intimacy or common interests, which you can enjoy together. This is a good reason to see a counsellor. You need to reignite a spark in your life, which will help you overcome stagnancy from your marriage.

– Temporary separation: There are occasions where your marriage comes to a halt, and it could lead to a temporary separation. Usually, these situations occur when you have a major fight, which you are unable to resolve at both ends. Then it is time to see a counsellor. It is not advisable to continue the relationship without any incentive of getting back together. You must seek professional help and try to save your marriage.

There are many occasions when you don’t want to work any more on your relationship, or when you stick around only for the sake of your children. But relationship issues always work out if dealt with maturity.

We offer both couple’s counseling and couple’s workshops.

Aug
19
2013

Dealing with Asperger’s Syndrome

All about Dealing with Asperger’s Syndrome

School life and more for Aspies

Social disconnect and lack of communication

Being uncomfortable in their skin

Children and Teens with Asperger’s Syndrome can significantly benefit from seeing a counselor or psychologist. For more information on how to get your child help, visit our website.

Aug
19
2013

Dealing with Troubled Teenagers

Dealing with Troubled Teenagers

As a parent you may wonder why your teenage child may want to hide some things from you like difficult times they might be going through. It could be owing to a number of issues. Your child may be having trouble in school because of someone bullying him, stress with academics, or anything else. Before a tiny issue snowballs into something major, you need to step up and try to resolve issues in your child’s life.

Parenting is not a cakewalk, but in extreme situations where your child starts abusing drugs or alcohol, you need to play the bad cop and get him or her to quit immediately. You have to start keeping a check on your child’s whereabouts. You also need to hold yourself together during stressful fights, arguments, and failed attempts at communicating with the teen.

How to identify if your teenage child is troubled?

One of the most important aspects of parenting is to distinguish normal teenage behavior from troubled behavior. It can be difficult to gauge if your teenager is troubled or not. Teenagers are often moody, which makes it difficult for you to know if he or she is going through a rough patch, or just in a bad mood. A normal teenager can also have mood swings, which can be fairly misleading.

One evident symptom of being a troubled teenager is physical appearance. A normal teenager would try to keep up with fashion. Don’t be surprised to see a new tattoo on his forearm or neck. This is surely a sign of a normal teenager who is trying to look cool and happening at school. On the other hand, you need to be alarmed if you spot cut or scratch marks on your child’s hand, arm, or palm. These are the usual places where they attack themselves. Also, sudden weight loss and weight gain are signs of unhealthy eating habits, which may turn out to be harmful for your child. You must put a halt to it.

Differences between normal and troubled teenage behavior

If your child starts acting independent and argumentative, it is a positive thing. But if your child begins to argue unreasonably at everything you say, or displays unruly violence at school, home and other places, then it is reason enough for you to worry.

Mood swings are normal they are not much of a cause for worry. But perpetual depression and failing grades should worry you. It indicates that your teenager is not able to cope with the day-to-day stress of life. He might be lashing it out at everything around him.

Alcohol and drugs are considered sinful by parents. They are surely not something you can be proud of, but be sure to have your children indulge into it often. Many normal teenagers like to experiment with alcohol and cigarette, just to experience it. This does not make them addicts, unless they do it very often. As a parent, you should be too uptight about these things, as they will only mess up with your child’s mind more. Troubled teenagers might be indulging in substance abuse. It won’t be difficult for you to gauge that, as there will be the cigarette stench being emitted from their clothes. Their eyes would seem to be red very often. Please be on guard and take alert actions. Do not just succumb to your misguided kid’s ways.

Social Skills and self-esteem groups can be very helpful to troubled teens. For more information, please see our Teens Groups Page.