Once you get married, you are not alone. You have the responsibility of having and maintaining a healthy relationship with your spouse also. This is the first point that has to be borne in mind if you want to avoid couples counseling. Only then, you will give top priority to your relationship with your spouse. But, many couples do not change their priorities even after getting married and that is one of the main reasons for problems in their married lives. Apart from according priority to the relationship with your spouse, you should realize the importance of interdependence in such relationships. Such an outlook will ease the pressure when unforeseen complications come up at a later stage. Some of the tips that can help you avoid couples counseling are discussed here.
Understand the importance of couples rituals
You should have a clear understanding of where you should have a healthy boundary in the relationship with your spouse. You may have problems with your in-laws, there may be financial issues, you or your spouse may have mood problems and so on. But, when you try to solve or surmount these challenges, you and your spouse should ensure that you do not cross the boundary that has been set so as to keep the relationship good.
If you and your spouse spend time together without any distractions, that may strengthen the bonding between you and her or him. Even a brief duration of about 10 minutes daily will impact the relationship positively. You can choose any time of the day or any place for being together. You can talk privately over a cup of tea, you can discuss when you dine with your spouse, can chat when you are in bed together and so on. If you have common interests like listening to some good music or doing exercises, you can use those times also to bond and strengthen the relationship.
This is not an “audit” in the strictest sense. This is checking if the relationship is strong. You must ask your spouse if all is well with the relationship. Your spouse should not have any reservations or inhibitions in telling you openly what she or he expects from the relationship. Such healthy communication between spouses will help in avoiding couples counseling.
Know yourself through your spouse
You can inquire with your spouse if she or he has any opinion about your behavior, attitude or activities.
Never be judgmental
If you want to have a strong relationship in your marriage and avoid couples counseling, you should never be judgmental about the behaviors or activities or your spouse. Even if you have a few requests to be made, those requests should not sound like complaints.
How to make decisions together
There may be many occasions in your life when you may have to make very important decisions. On such occasions, you must seek the advice of your spouse also. Your spouse may look at the situations from a different angle and so, such discussions may provide you with unique solutions for the situations. Very importantly, you and your spouse should never make a decision that may be detrimental to your relationship with her or him.