Marriages go through a series of changes, just like the people in it do. You should understand that change is inevitable, and that it doesn’t reflect on your marriage in a bad way. Here are 8 stages that most healthy marriages go through.
This is your honeymoon stage, where all that there is to your marriage is passion and romance. The intensity of feelings and emotions, and the rush of chemicals experienced during this stage, give way to a lot of intimate moments with you partner. The initial passion can seem magical but is short-lived, as it wanes over the next few years.
This is when you realize your honeymoon has come to an end. Reality kicks in and you start seeing things without those rosy glasses. You notice little things about your spouse that annoy you. While disappointments and rifts are common in this stage, acceptance also slips in. As both of you start opening up your deepest fears, wants, and needs to each other, you start trusting each other better. Being open and respectful are important in this stage.
This is when both of you feel like going your own ways. She wants her career, you want your friends, individuality never seemed this important! While you may have started out strong through the previous phase, setting up the basic blocks for a happy marriage, the individuality from this phase may throw those blocks all around. The drama and conflicts that come with this stage need to borne without resorting to rebellious actions that cant be undone. This too shall pass.
In time you grow, grow wiser, and so does your partner. You start to realize that the rebellion doesn’t do a lot of good to your marriage, instead, you learn to cooperate. Your commitment grows deeper in the process. You relationship and finances get more stable and it all starts coming together. With the stability in your relationship, you start focusing on your kids, mortgages and insurances. This lasts for the coming 10-20 years.
Once the parental commitments subside, you look around, its like you’ve just run a race. Everything is in place, peaceful and quiet, and you don’t have a lot on your plate after all these years. Healthy marriages see couples appreciating each other during this stage, for being there for each other through the toughest of times. This stage also comes with coping with middle age crisis and re-assessing roles in the marriage.
Losing your job, health issues, financial troubles, all of it seems to be happening at once. There are so many changes happening, bad ones at that, that you fell like things are spiraling out of control. This could happen when you’re in your 40s or 50s. Marriage can really boost your morale during these times, as you return to the warm solace of your partner every time you fell battered.
By now, you’ve been with each other for nearly a lifetime and know each other as well as they know themselves. The marital happiness experienced in this stage is incomparable!