Each time, you affirm your authentic and true self, you might have experienced each and every cell in your body being cheered. It is true that every time you work against yourself or permit others to do so, it will surely have a negative biological effect. Upholding your true self is something that means taking action to meet your requirements and expressing whom you actually are and thinking good thoughts about yourself and taking action for doing what you really want. Most pole in relationships give up even on their self esteem for their love. But this is not right. You need to support yourself first. So, what does supporting yourself mean?
This entails putting yourself at the main point of your decision making and this will be something hard in relationships with mutual needs and have difficulty in declaring themselves.
When you oppose yourself or permit others to do so, it will have an opposite effect. Neuroscience has validated the connection between body and mind. This validation resulted in identifying that neuropeptides, immunotransmitters, neurotransmitters and hormones all respond to thought, imagery and emotion. For instance, when we think about food, we feel hungry and some of us cry at a sad movie or memory and picturing your favorite eatable, can make your mouth water. Research shows that low self-esteem is connected to higher cortisol responses and stress.
It is crucial to identify that it is not just the level of stress, but the faith in your ability to handle it is of utmost importance. Your codependents with lesser level of self-confidence, generally sense situations to be stressful. However, taking such steps in the face of anxiety can build confidence and self-esteem, thereby avoiding them from increasing a fearful response. It can be challenging for codependents to accept self-affirming actions.
Typically, these people are disconnected from their authentic self and they generally have a preset mind and without any intention they do not believe that they are important and deserve the love or respect. Some of them do not feel suitable for success and happiness. Also, they become self-critical due to their lower level of self-confidence. They never know how to encourage themselves and how to feel proud. This sort of thoughts lead them to fear and anxiety about failing, committing mistakes and being judged.
They might have experienced shame right from their childhood, so they will not be in a position to identify their wants, feelings and requirements. All these are an impediment in taking action in putting themselves first, decision-making and self-expression.
When it comes to relationships, your codependents will feel that they should be loved and accepted and for ensuring the same, they hide their originality and show a false face. As compared to affirming themselves, they tend to lodge themselves in relationships.
Due to their childhood experience, they may foresee, rejection, abuse, criticism and anger. Because of their low self-confidence, they wish to ensure that people with whom they are engaging in relationships, should also be of the same type. Some of them even consent for abuse, as compared to risk rejection.
So, for ensuring the success of any relationships, the first thing you will have to do is to accept yourself and you should respect yourself to love others.