Parents who have decided to separate legally should keep their children informed of their impending divorce. But, experts in Psychology of children give a parenting advise that both the parents should be present while the kids are being told about their legal separation. Both the parents should discuss with each other and decide how and what should be told and how they should respond to the questions, if any, of the children.
Parents Should Approach The Process Calmly
Psychology experts also give the parenting advise that parents should deal with the situation with open minds. They should be as candid as possible and should not deviate from the plans or strategies they have decided upon. These parents may not know how their children will react but, whatever may be their reaction and even if they get upset and express their anger, they should not lose their cool.
Some children may yell at the parents or may start crying. They may retire to their rooms or go away from the scene. It is better parents give them some time to cool down. They can continue their talk with them after they come out of the effects of their immediate outburst.
Take A Break
Another parenting tip is that parents should comfort them. There are some parents who expect their children to comfort them. Parents should view the situation in the right perspective and should remain as neutral as possible. If the parents themselves are not able to control their emotions, they can take a break and once they calm down, they can try to discuss with the children again.
Hiding The Reasons Is Not The Right Approach
Psychology experts suggest that parents should not try to hide the reasons for the separation. In other words, children should know the reasons behind the divorce decision. It is not necessary that parents should divulge all the details. They should also avoid placing the entire blame on the other partner.
Children should understand how there may be changes in their lives once the legal process of separation is over. They should know with whom they may live, where they will study and all the other details including how they will be able to meet the parent with whom they will not be living.
If parents think that their children need a counselor’s help, they can arrange for enlisting one. Children should be informed that they can contact this counselor or a few other specific people for suitable advice or guidance. Children should also understand that their parents will continue to have undiminished love towards them even after their legal separation.
All the concerned people including the teachers of the children, their counselors, caregivers and their close friends’ parents should be informed of the divorce. The purpose of informing them is to intimate to the parents if there are any behavioral changes in the children due to the divorce.
Children should be encouraged to be bold because only if they face life’s problems squarely, they can succeed in their future endeavors. Psychology experts give parenting warning that parents should not promise things they cannot deliver.
If parents adopt patience, they can make the whole process smooth. Any aggressive attitude on the part of the parents may disturb the emotions of the children adversely. So, experts in children psychology give parenting advise that parents should give ample room for the children to comprehend the situation in the right manner.