Deciding to get a divorce can be one of the hardest decisions a couple can make. What can however, make the divorce decision more painful is when kids are involved. Preparing kids for divorce can be challenging. However, how their parents handle the entire process will determine the extent to which they will be affected. Any responsible parent would probably have spent time wondering how the divorce process will affect their children, and worry about ways to help their children cope during the divorce. Having said that, outlined below are a few techniques to consider in other to have a safe divorce.
Talk about the divorce openly with the kids
The first step towards a safe divorce is for you and your partner to sit down as a family and tell the kids about the divorce. While doing that, you should ensure not to speak evils of your partner or talk about the problems in the marriage. This is not a time to blame anyone, since you never want to get into an argument in front of them. Take this time to talk to them in a very calm and understanding tone. Also, use age appropriate language. 3-year old and 7-year old kids are in different maturity levels and understand things differently. Be sincere, but take note to use the right language for the age of the child or they will not understand the situation.
Make them to understand that they will continue to be loved and cherished by the two of you. Let your children know that your love for one another has changed, but the love you both have for them remains strong and steady. Let them understand that the need for the divorce is not because of anything they did.
Give them the opportunity to ask any questions.
This is very essential as the kids will be curious. Understanding how to handle the divorce in their own terms will help them accept it much easier. If they are not ready to talk with you about their feelings, give them the time they need. Let them understand you both care for them, and will still be in their life. Since they will most likely become upset or sad, make them to understand that they are not losing either parent, just that you will no longer be living together. Provide them with the support they need to enable them get over the difficult time with ease.
Consider counseling as a coping option for your kids
In several cases, kids of divorcing parents have feelings of responsibility for the situation, which can result in guilt feelings or even depression. If you would want to guard your kids against this vicious cycle, a mental health expert can help to protect your kid’s wellness in the course of the divorce proceedings. If you can afford a therapist or other health care experts, consider this as an alternative for your kids. You may likewise consider counseling for yourself. Doing this may help you and your kids by proxy.
The well-being of your kids should be a top priority in the divorce proceedings. You can reduce the negative effects on your children if you and your partner end the marriage in a mature and healthy way. Be as honest as possible with them without going into all the reasons for the divorce. It is possible the kids will more than likely handle the divorce differently, so be prepared for their reactions and be supportive to their feelings. Being open can help them to handle this challenging time in a healthy and stable way.