A wise old couple once said that the key to a good marriage is knowing what battles to choose. Fighting with your spouse is like a double-edged sword, it can either make for a disastrous or a healthy marriage. Confused? Read on, and we’ll tell you how fights are a deciding factor in healthy marriages.
What sparks a fight
There are times when you might be having a terrible day, and you come home and blow up on your spouse. You need to understand that this doesn’t reflect on your marriage and that it’s just one of those bad days. But don’t go completely off handle and throw mean words at them, just because they put up with it. Being understanding, when your partner is being irritable on one such day, is also essential.
We often try to control the ones closest to us, its because we care too much. But where do you draw the line? You know that annoying habit that your spouse has, that you’ve never mustered the guts to tell them about? Maybe you can talk it out and have a good laugh. If it’s something that’s important to your better-half or an essential part of him/her, asking them to change would be a little selfish on your part. But if its something you’re concerned about for their well-being, don’t hesitate, make them understand.
Sometimes, couples fight aimlessly to no end and it becomes a habit. Its almost as if they don’t want it to work out. Using hateful words, being spiteful and abusive during fights is not a road healthy marriages take. Throwing things at your partner or hurting them, is completely off-limits. These fights are vicious and need to be addressed at the earliest possible. It could stem from underlying insecurities or dissatisfaction in the relationship.
Understanding fights better
The next time you fight, ask yourself what you want from the fight. Pointless squabbles can be avoided when you know why you’re fighting. Healthy marriages often have many a disagreement. A disagreement doesn’t mean you gear up all your defenses and start a verbal diarrhea to prove your point. Understanding that you come from different places and respecting your spouse’s opinion is crucial.
Don’t hit the bed or go to work angry. Sometimes, fights spiral out of control and you give each other the silent treatment afterward. If you’re going to have to sort it out at some point of time, why not do it now? Even if means going in for another round of fight that you hate, dealing with the issue is how adults handle it.
Sometimes, the best way to deal with a fight is through compromise. Rather than acting like a stubborn mule, why not try and meet them half-way? Make a deal, one that works out for both you guys. Other times, it best to let go. So she spent a few extra bucks while shopping, or he didn’t get you your favorite flowers for your birthday, is it really worth a fight? Think again.