Attending Couple’s Counseling without Your Better Half

Marriages are made in heaven, and a lot of them are re-made in a therapist’s office. Many couples go through relentless fights and arguments that only end in a divorce, while the wiser ones seek out for a couple’s counselor’s help. But what do you so when your spouse doesn’t want to see a therapist? On one hand, you want to save your marriage, while on the other hand, you don’t want to severe your ties with your spouse any further, by egging them on to go see a therapist. Its a tricky place I understand, but have you considered couple’s counseling for one? You’ll be surprised with how much one person can do! 

How couple’s counseling for one can benefit your marriage

Many people confuse individual therapy with being the same as them being the problem. Individual therapy is a way of understanding what mannerisms and techniques you can use to ease the tension in the relationship and resolve issues with your partner. While a relationship cannot function without both sides compromising, one person can bring about a substantial amount of change to it. Through individual therapy, you can explore possible approaches to improve your relationship dynamics. Endlessly ranting about what is wrong with the other person is nowhere close to dealing with relationship issues. Through individual therapy you’ll be exposed to behaviors and actions you could employ, that can help in freeing your relationship which seems to be stuck in a phase.

How to go about attending couple’s counseling for one

  • Start off by finding yourself a practitioner who uses evidence-based methods such as cognitive behavioral therapy for couples. ‘Couples-friendly’ practitioners focus on relationships rather than any individual in particular.
  • Try asking your spouse, why they won’t accompany you for the counseling. Watching their response will help you understand their stance and the state of the relationship better.
  • Don’t get swayed into thinking that the counseling is to help you understand the possible areas of change your partner needs. A relationship takes two. Counseling will help you in understanding what changes you can bring about to undo the toxic patterns in your relationship.
  • Without being pushy or threatening, try coaxing your partner to join you. They’ll be curios about the positive changes you’re bringing into the relationship and might just agree, you never know! While the therapist has been hearing your side of the story all this while, listening to your partner can help them in putting the pieces together. Having your partner come in, even for one session, can give the therapist better perspective on how to handle the case.
  • Share what you’ve written down, any reading material or insights the therapist gave, with your spouse. If the therapist has given you an exercise or ‘homework’ to work on, ask your spouse for some help. They’ll probably see how hard you’re trying to make this work and open up, or probably join you on your next visit to the therapist’s too!

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