Boundary-Setting in Relationships


When it comes to healthy relationships, healthy physical and emotional boundaries form the base. However, those connections that are trapped are deprived of these boundaries. This was said by Ross Rosenberg, who is a psychotherapist specialized in this arena. Irrespective of whether the association is between partners or family members, restrictions simply does not exist and boundaries are porous as well. People in trapped relationships are denoted more by their association as compared to their individuality.

Generally, these people depend on each other for satisfying their emotional requirements. In other words, their ideas are defined by the other person and they do not hesitate to lose their individuality to get their requirements satisfied. For instance, a trapped relationship between a mom or dad and a kid might show the former as the individual with personality disorder and the latter as the codependent or the individual, who just lives to give. The former knows very well that his/her kid is the only individual, who will listen to him/her, while the latter is afraid of talking against the parent, who exploits the care giving of the latter.

Even though, the above-mentioned case exists in relationships, it is highly possible to set boundaries. Of course, it is true that boundary-setting is a skill. Here are some signs that show that you are in a trapped relationship and some tips to set boundaries are also discussed below:

Signs of trapped relationship

Generally, people in such a relationship will not even realize that they are living in such a situation. However, making the individual to understand that he is in an unhealthy association is something that will liberate him from such clutches. It can be pointed out as the initial step in making positive changes and focusing your attention on developing healthy relationships, inclusive of the one with yourself. Experts suggest that these people will lose much more when they are not liberated from such a trapped relationship as compared to making changes in identifying healthy connections. So, here are the signs that show whether you are staying in a trapped relationship:

  • When you are avoiding other associations just because of a compulsion in the current association.
  • When your contentment or happiness relies only on your association.
  • Your self-esteem is dependent on this relationship.
  • When there is a disagreement or conflict in your association and if you feel fear and anxiety to fix the problem immediately.
  • When you are not around the person and cannot talk to him/her and in such a situation you are feeling too much lonely, it can be a sign of your trapped relationship.
  • When there is a symbiotic emotional connection. This means that if they are depressed, anxious and angry, you also have the same feeling.

Tips for boundary-setting

If you find that you are in a trapped relationship, it is better to seek professional help. You can also start by setting smaller boundaries initially, but when this is done, it is better to avoid doing in a judgmental or shaming way. Finally, you can try out by creating boundaries for yourself and for others.

So, take immediate steps to relieve yourself of unhealthy relationships if you find the above-mentioned signs.

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