Amazing, isn’t it, how we can go through life mindlessly and miss the good stuff? It’s more challenging than ever now, to stay present to what’s really going on, when our tech tools are seducing us 24/7. Consider how often you commune with your  smartphone. Are there any limits? It’s right there with you, whatever you’re doing, right? Naked in bed, anyone? Try as we might to take breaks from connectivity, our ticket to all things distracting is never far.  Transcending technology isn’t easy, that’s for sure.

The pervasive pull away from live action life smacked me around again last  night. My Silicon Valley exec dinner date was unavoidably stuck on 2 back-to-back work calls while we were out at The Plant, a local organic café. Strangely, I had forgotten my iphone in the car, parked nearby. Having just browsed a chapter in my book, called Immediate State, I was in the perfect frame of mind not to mind. Left alone, I took my own advice and immersed in what was going on right in front of me, in that moment.

I noticed the red dyed sunflowers that lined the bar in glass jars, one by one. So cool. I discreetly observed diners and created mini-sketches of their  personalities and conversations in my imagination. I admired the round, modern light fixtures that dangled above the bartender’s head as she poured watermelon cocktails into small V-shaped glasses. It was every bit as fun to immerse in the present moment as I promise in the book.

Here’s where it gets real. After about 20 minutes of full-on presence, I took the short walk to the car to retrieve my cell phone. Why? The next dinner reservation had to be made. I warn against this kind of behavior in IS: Your Authentic Spirituality Unleashed. We can’t afford to eclipse the current moment by planning future ones, I point out. “Have you ever dined somewhere new, only to spend the conversation  planning where you’ll eat out next?” (p. 42). Yet, instant gratification was just an irresistible touch screen away. My OpenTable App won me away from now again.

We have to engage with technology and often. The point isn’t to live a monastic life. It’s just to notice real life as it’s happening. What goes on beyond the laptop, the ipad and the smartphone is a lot more dynamic. Then again, if it weren’t for those, you wouldn’t be reading this.

Life is amazing. Enjoy the moment, tech toys within reach.

Vacation is a must. But it’s not enough. It takes time and money to escape for several days. Most of us just can’t afford to do that as often as we need it. There are lots of lesser ways to escape–some better for us than others. A hike in the woods is an inspired alternative. Unfortunately, it’s not the choice most folks make regularly. Some disengage with a favorite TV lineup or dive into electronic gaming. Others numb out with drugs or alcohol. And let’s not forget the many opportunities to check-out online–from social media to shopping cart. Heck, with your ipad in one hand, a glass of wine in the other and an eye on Mad Men, you are among friends.

These popular substitutes for respite may bring temporary relief, but they often lead to bad habits–if not addiction. Can we learn how to give ourselves a regular break without resorting to the usual diversions when we can’t take a full-blown holiday?

Think about what it’s like to be on vacation. You probably work less, play more and give yourself permission to just be. More than anything you do or don’t do, taking a vacation is really a state of mind; less pressure to perform and more freedom to explore.

Here are some suggestions for a stellar staycation, even if all you have is one sweet Saturday:

1. Slow Down: Give yourself permission to sleep in. When you get around to it, think about what you’d like to do with your day. Then pick one thing. Just one. Then give yourself permission not to get to it. Take time to lie on your back outside and stare at the clouds. Do less than necessary.

2. Lighten Up: Make someone smile and smile yourself. Joke, laugh, flirt, sing, skip, do a cartwheel if you can. Roll down the hill. Be a total dork. Make fun your priority. Turn on some music. Turn it up. Whistle while you don’t work.

3. Mix It Up: Seek out new corners in your own backyard. Play musical chairs from your usual positions at home. Take a new route. Get lost just out of curiosity. Try a new food. Wear a new hue. Change the station. Do the same old things in a whole new way. Turn it upside down.

4. Turn It Up: Push past your comfort zone. Do something that scares you just a little. If you feel like a fool on the dance floor- get thee to a club and dance. Make someone an invitation too good to refuse. Spice it up. Go to your edge. Be turned on. Find an itch you forgot you had and scratch it.

5. Do It Up: How can you tell you’re on vacation? Would you have a spa treatment? Some cleaning help? Would you do some fine dining? Go window shopping? Maybe you would get a good book and do nothing but read all day. Be a little naughty. Indulge, knowing you deserve it. (You do).

6. Check Out: It’s hard to escape connectivity these days. Zones without cell coverage can scarcely be found outside an elevator. Don’t wait until you’re out of range to take a break from your smart-phone. Turn it off. “Walk away from the computer, sir/m’am.” Emails, updates and phone calls can wait a day. Dare to disappear. Power down for peace.

Add your own get-away must-haves to this list and get stayin’! It’s as easy as taking tomorrow off. Enjoy!

You know that essential, transcendent part of you? Call it what you will:  soul, spirit, inner spark. I call it the Inspired Self. It’s real all  right, even though it can’t be posted as a profile pic. Whatever you call  your inner God/Goddess, it’s awesome. But what’s left of you rocks, too.  Without the physical mechanism to get (slapped) around in this  techno-material world, you’d be screwed. I call this contraption the Incarnate Self. It’s the sexy package you put forth and use to  function. Even though your practical parts– brain and bod– may not be as  divinely perfect as your Inspired Self, they deserve your devotion all  the same. Here are some ways to worship your indispensable Incarnate Self.

TEND THE TEMPLE: worship the instrument that enables you to  do and be.

1. Check In. On a regular basis, notice your physical  sensations. Tune into your feelings. The body transmits wisdom. What you pick up  from your inner experience is key data. Take a moment to explore what’s going on  in there. If you find a sensation, feeling or emotion, inquire. Search  out the message. Be curious and delve. Why are you clenching your jaw? Is  there something you need to say? Hello, inner truth. Self-awareness is about  knowing yourself from the inside out. Get into it.
2. Rock Out. Keep moving. This is good not just for your body,  but for your mind as well. The body/mind is inextricably connected, so realize  that doing right by one is doing you right all around. Yesterday, I  attended a day-long seminar on how exercise pumps up the brain. What I learned  after sitting there just short of 7 hours is simple (and ironic): don’t sit too  much! According to expert Michael Lara, MD, you’re better off moving around  throughout the day than doing an hour-long workout and sitting the rest of the  day. Check out his website for  the mind-pumping research and other compelling info. You already know that  exercise is a natural anti-depressant. But if you require studies to prove it,  Mike’s your man.
3. Worship It. Taking care of yourself is self-love. That’s  right! You do know how to “love yourself” like all the self-help books preach.  Just getting to the dentist for a bi-annual teeth cleaning is an act of  reverence. And it doesn’t stop there. (Massage, anyone?) Give your body what it  craves. A bath is hydrotherapy. An organic salad with wild caught salmon is  top notch fuel. Sleep is well deserved restoration. Regard yourself as a divine  temple housing your Inspired Self and treat it like the miraculous treasure  it is.

TAME THE MIND: train your mind to work for you, not against you.

1. Be Present. Mental noise almost always consists of thoughts  of the past or thoughts of the future. Think about it. If you are in distress,  you are likely ruminating or rehearsing. In this moment, you are all good.  Visit now more often. It is so peaceful here. If you want a magic pill for  mental health, try a dose of presence.
2. Be Positive. If you’re going to feed any thoughts, let them  be the good ones. You create your reality with your thoughts. Maybe it’s old  school to look on the bright side, but it beats the alternative. Somewhere in  our garage there’s a book called, You Can’t Afford The Luxury of a Negative  Thought. It never gets donated because it has such a killer title.  Seriously.
3. Be Still. Let’s be real. You’re probably over-stimulated.  Ever sit in front of the T.V. with an ipod in your lap and your cell phone next  to you? It’s a weird world, friends, and you’re in it. Once a day, steal a  little quiet. Your consciousnesses important updates for you. These  messages of wisdom are being whispered all the time and it’s up to you to  listen. Aside from the frenetic, wired environment you’re in, you’re probably  generating a lot of mental noise, too. It’s a habit until we break it. How? Be  still and see what surfaces. Carve out 10 minutes of stillness every day.  Meditate if that’s your thing. Be mindful. But somehow, turn it off and tune  in.

For more on the Incarnate Self and the other aspects of existence as captured  in my book, IS,  join me at The New Living Expo in  San Francisco on April 27th, 7pm. Rock on.

Read more:  Faith Freed | MFT Intern & Author

Ever felt suddenly ignited by a burst of inspiration? Maybe you came across a motivating quote. “Think sideways!” Said Edward de Bono. Or remember a time you caught sight of something miraculous in nature, like a full moon or a humming bird hovering at a flower? Perhaps you witnessed an impressive human feat at a sporting event?  And then there’s inspiration of the creative kind–from Picasso to Prada. No matter how you get there, being inspired feels good. Life affirming, it’s like gas being poured on your inner flame.

Seeing something totally off-the-wall can wake us up to wonder again. Like magic. Watching (or giving) birth can do it. Cuteness works wonders. (Think puppies.) Never-mind, hotness. A fit, healthy body can be inspiring, just like a soaring human spirit. Now, turn the dial and consider music. The right song can take you higher. Similarly, we can be transformed by a moving film. What deeply stirred you and spurred you on?

And then…there’s food. Has a cosmic combo of flavors ever blown your mind? Check out the caviar atop sea urchin on oyster pictured here–sure to send a sushi lover. Some diners even shed a tear for great taste. I just read about a woman who cried in appreciation for the delicious gourmet gluten-free bread at The French Laundry restaurant in Yountville, CA. But sensory inspiration can be pure and simple, too, like a plump organic blueberry bursting juice between your teeth. And don’t even get me started on beverages. That’s a whole other arena of arousal, and we’re not just talkin’ kombucha.

All this is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to inspiration. (An iceberg–now that’s inspiring.)

Think of a person whom you admire: Wise old woman? Innocent child? How about someone well known: Einstein? Lady Gaga? Lao Tzu? Rosa Parks? What about a cause or an idea? Like regenerating tissue with stem cells or marriage equality?

So, what turns you on?

This is not a rhetorical question. This is a contest. To enter, just send your answer to this question: “What Inspires You?” Tweet me with #IS, or post or message your response to the IS Facebook Page: You can also comment on this blog or email it in: faith@faithfreed.com. Your entry is welcome in any form: words, pictures, sound…be creative. The winner will be mailed a copy of my book, IS: Your Authentic Spirituality Unleashed, plus a bonus prize that fits the winning response. Deadline is 4/4/13. Winner announced 4/5/13.

What inspires you? Do share!

UPDATE: Announcing the “What Inspires You?” Contest Winners: Jerry James Stone of San Francisco, CA for his creative culinary inspiration and Jennifer Whitehouse of the UK, a triplet, for her story of gratitude and admiration for her parents. Congrats!

It’s starting to feel like spring, right? The frost of winter is metaphorically melting to reveal the tender green buds of new life. It’s a fitting time to reinvent yourself. But really, every day offers a chance to start again. You don’t need a season, a new year, or a birthday to prompt progress. The invitation to personally upgrade is perpetually seducing you because human beings naturally gravitate towards health. Can you feel wellness wooing you?

Give yourself a fresh start.

Simply setting the intention to make a change sets transformation in motion. Intention has a crazy power all its own. Yes, you have to do your part, but it may be easier than you think. Once you put it out there that you want to change, the Universe rallies to support you. Before you know it, presto! You’re moving in the right direction and a positive difference is apparent. Grant yourself permission to begin again. You’re in charge. You don’t need to hit rock bottom in order to bounce up to new heights. You can just say, “O.K., I’m ready to feel better.” It’s up to you.

Spring cleaning is a great analogy for purifying mind, body and spirit. What’s in the way of you enjoying peace and joy? If there’s some old garbage mucking up the works, how might you clear that from your internal space?  Is it diminishing your quality of life on a daily basis, like a sink full of dirty dishes that disturbingly sits there and doesn’t get done? Clean it up. Imagine your life without the mess in your mind or the heaviness in your heart. Then, take some action to free yourself. You are so worth it.

Now is the time.

If you’re ready to change, start NOW. Tomorrow is seductively promising. It’s sweet to ponder what we might become one day. But this moment is the one that counts. No excuses. No self-sabotage. No delay. You can’t afford to stay stuck. Self-actualization awaits. Try on that person that you know you can be. Right now. Hello, rock-star.

 Are we there yet?

Folks come into therapy wondering how long it’ll take to change. That all depends. Granted, some things can’t be rushed. They can’t be forced. Progress takes time and it tends to favor baby steps. On the other hand, the velocity of your personal growth is largely up to you. One tiny action in the right direction creates momentum that may take on a life of it’s own. So do the small step. Flow will take you from there. If it feels daunting just to embark on a healing journey at all, be gentle and patient with yourself. Take it slow and give yourself credit when the hardest part is behind you: beginning. If you feel eager for relief and want accelerated change, O.K. Ready, set, go.

Posted by: Entelechy Wellness Center Marriage and Family Therapy Intern, Faith Freed, Author of IS: Your Authentic Spirituality Unleashed (Hay House, 2013). For more visit FaithFreed.com.